Date

Treatment Blog - April 09

Treetops Hospice Sponsored Walk

Sunday 17th May 3,6 or 12 mile walks

All walks will finish at Treetops Hospice.

To register your interest please contact Gay Evans

tel: (0115) 939 5153

gevans@treetopshospice.org.uk

Treetops1 - Treetops2 - Treetops3 - Treetops4

30.04.09

Beanie

Flatty

Mick B

Wendy from the Derby Evening Telegraph came this morning and interviewed Jane and I for a good hour and a half before the photographer turned up to take what seemed like a hundred pictures. The article will be in one of the editions over this coming weekend but I’m not sure which one I’ll ask the local shop to save me a copy each day until we get back from Wells although they do have it ‘online’.

OK then on the left we have two pictures of me in funny hats, I quite like them actually and they do the job, the beanie keeps my tabs warm and the flatty keeps the sun off and today also doubled as a rain hat!

For those still sceptical about my physical exertions I’ve included a picture of Mick potting up some tubs and pots for me this afternoon, he’ll be back probably end of next week to mow the lawn again and any other garden jobs that need doing and for which I am extremely grateful. You can see in the photo Jane has a short sleeved top on and I have three layers and a fleece and a hat, very sensitive to the temperature and I suppose shedding over 40 pounds of winter fat contributes.

That’s it until we get back from Wells-Next-The-Sea and we’ll be onto another fresh blog month.

Finally, best of luck to that certain someone taking their motorbike test next week!

29.04.09

One or two comments on the garden picture so here’s the one looking back to the house to complete the picture - not casing the joint are you? Lydia can do the 6 mile walk for Treetops and Keith has the sponsorship forms so I hope to be in at work next week to pass one around, probably Thursday, my diary is just so full. I don’t know how I’d manage if I had to go to work!

Jane and I both had Reflexology today at Treetops for our Complimentary Therapy and we both enjoyed it and both at some point managed to nod off during the session. Very relaxing and I’ve added some pictures above so you can get an idea of what it’s like there and why we are so keen to raise some cash for them on the sponsored walk.

I was seen in record time at clinic to have my pump changed, my appointment was at 4pm and I was in at 10 past, perhaps it was the face mask and the grunting noises that got me out of there quicker. Managed to see Helen for a brief visit she was still very tired so I left her with Andy once we had managed to sort her out some food and tele to watch later.

Interview with the press in the morning so I’ll be polishing my head later to look smart. Took Lydia hat shopping earlier, a quick run down to Next at Giltbrook, the skin on my head seems very thin so I’m sensitive to hot and cold, I’ll model them tomorrow and post a couple of pics for a laugh.

28.04.09

As you can see from the photo the lawn is cut and edges cleared of old daffodils and all pots emptied ready for filling on Thursday. Mick is bringing the compost and we’ll pot up the plants I bought today. Other than that just had an ‘admin’ day ordering prescriptions, scheduling dates for the coming week or so and ordering food for the tube, a bit of filing away mail and tinkering with the web site trying to get things right this time.

We sold Lydia’s bed on ebay last night for a good price but haven’t heard from the buyer yet - I find that really annoying as they must have been sat at their PC to place the bid so why don’t they get in touch?

Best line from ashes to Ashes last night - “Don’t tell me how to drive, this car is more a part of me than my own ball sack”

Jane and I are both at Treetops tomorrow lunchtime then I’m off to the chemotherapy clinic for the final pump change. While I’m there I’ll pop in and see Helen, Jane’s best friend who has her first operation to remove the breast cancer tomorrow morning, she’ll be on Gillies ward just across the corridor from the clinic. If you do say a prayer tonight give her a mention will you and wish her, as we all do, all the very best of luck.

27.04.09

I suppose if you’re reading this then you managed the hoops I set you to jump through to get here. JohnWiddowson.com isn’t doing much at the moment so ButterSideUp is a sub domain to keep things tidy - complicated isn’t it?

Took me an hour and a half to get to the City hospital this morning and I jumped the queue as I assume those before me hadn’t reckoned on quite such a long journey in. I just took off my jacket and lay down on the machine, no need to get changed or take my boots of or anything, even left my bum bag on with my 5FU pump in it. My arm bled quite a bit where the contrast dye was injected so after I had to wait behind for 15 minutes in the waiting room, the two receptionists, Hinge & Bracket, managed to tear themselves away from holiday brochures just long enough to tell me I could go home but not long enough to answer the phone that I heard ring off at least twice because they couldn’t be bothered to answer it. The worst I’ve seen at the City yet.

I met one of the Oncology Registrars in the corridor on the way out, he always has a word and said I was looking good. He knew we were meeting next Tuesday and that I was due a CT scan, I assume I won’t hear from anyone until then unless there is something wrong with the scan.

I got home and the nutritionist rang wanting to know all about my feeding habits, how much, how long, how fast, what else was I taking orally and of course my favourite topic, how are the bowel movements! Whether it’s sick people or small kids that topic always seems to come up in conversation here, normally at the dinner table to Jane’s delight.

26.04.09

My weight has levelled out again at 10st 12lb after a bit of a dip last week down to 10st 10lb although that did incorporate some strenuous and productive toilet activity the other night, symptoms and side effects of the chemotherapy remain constantly annoying but nothing more so I won’t bang on about them. Lazy weekend just passing the time now until tomorrow morning, I’ll be up and away early for my CT scan at the City Hospital at 9.20 although the scan itself is harmless enough the results of it are crucial to what happens next so I’m a little anxious about it. If I wear trousers with no zips or fasteners I won’t need to get changed for the scan but I ain’t no hoodie and don’t possess such an article so it’s the halter neck gown and Doc Martens for me.

I took Lydia to Whitwick near Leicester today for a dancing competition, she danced very well and although she was recalled for each of the dances she entered no trophies this time. Tough competition and lots of entrants so I was pleased how she did and how she handled the occasion.

Under 18s can only do the 3 mile sponsored walk at Treetops so that’s put a bit of a spanner in the works although adults are volunteering to take part in numbers!

By Tuesday evening I hope to have http://www.johnwiddowson.com/buttersideup up and running, you won’t see much at the moment but at least it’ll give me plenty of space and it’s registered with Google site maps so people should be able to find it easier. Thanks to Andrew K for the tips and it was a steal at £4.99 a year!

24.04.09

Blogless yesterday and don’t I know it! My inbox hasn’t been so active for ages but not to worry there just wasn’t any great news that couldn’t wait so I missed a day but thanks to all those concerned enough to mail in.

On the good days this being ill business isn’t so bad, a couple of days relaxing in the sunshine and soaking up the vitamin D has done me a power of good. That’ll be the kiss of death then and it’ll chuck it down all weekend.

Symptoms / side effects of the chemotherapy are steady and bearable, I’ve been asked a couple of times how I think the treatment is going and I have to say with just 12 days left of pre op chemotherapy it couldn’t have gone better. I haven’t had any breaks or failed one blood test and kept the dose of each drug at 100%. One chap I know of has been having chemotherapy for four months and has only had one session because of blood count problems and I know others who have suffered terrible side effects on the same drug combination and have had to drop them altogether or reduce the dosage and so you’d imagine the effect.

Got a letter from the DWP today about the Disability Living Allowance - they have received my form and I should feel free to contact them if I haven’t heard anything in eight weeks!

I’ve included a photo of me today for those who can’t remember what I look like. I like to put pictures up and content other than just text but space on my homepage is tight, I’m looking for a web host to offer some assistance if anyone has any contacts, I might mention it in the Telegraph interview next Thursday and see if anything comes of it!

22.04.09

Jane and I went to Treetops today, I must say I was feeling much better anyway but what a delightful place. Look on the ‘Our Services’ page on their web site for details of what they offer as complimentary therapy. I had an introductory session as ‘the patient’ followed by a Reiki session while I think Jane just got straight into the Indian Head Massage and to dispel all myths that’s not being massaged with Tonto’s head. OK I tried, put the emphasis where you like and make your own jokes! I’d be interested in anyone’s experience of Reiki, for my part the jury is still out.

Lydia wants to do the sponsored walk, the 6 miles and Jane’s Dad Keith will join in too. I don’t mind if no-one else wants to take part, it’s there if you want to, but please don’t duck away from a bit of sponsorship if you’re asked, it’s for a very good cause.

Not wanting to add any pressure to that I had an email today from the feature writer of the Derby Evening Telegraph so I might have opportunity to name and shame anyone who misses out, I think I might also need an agent!

Waited a couple of hours at the City Hospital late this afternoon for the pump to be changed, nothing new there and as long as it happened I don’t mind the wait. Got home just after 7pm. For tomorrow I’ve promised Miriam I’ll take her to the Garden Centre she wants something to grow and I want to see the mass of colours in the sunshine, I seem to get an energy from it - or is that the Reiki?

21.04.09

Mission accomplished today I managed to walk to my parents’ house, a nice plod in the morning sun. Not had a nap today just rested at tea time and through Jane keep mentioning I have managed to take in more water today which as I’ve said on numerous occasions is, I believe, the key to recovery. While your kidneys are churning out a dark brown mess into your urine then you aint getting better. Now going into week 8 of 9 this time around and for those who notice these things Flo is back to ‘OK’ for the first time in over a week

I had a call from my Brother last night, someone else with a croaky voice, his though down to a stag weekend in Valencia and then a call from Dan from work filling me in on the latest round of peace talks to try and get staff slotted in. I’m glad that is more or less sorted for me I couldn’t deal with it right now anyway and while I’m on that and because I’ve heard it said again just recently, anyone who thinks they can have intense chemotherapy and work at the same time is very much mistaken, absolutely impossible.

A bit of R&R for Jane and I tomorrow I think we’re both up for the Indian Head Massage although I might see what’s best for whipping me into shape a bit rather than into relaxation. Then a dash over to hospital to have my 5FU pump changed, I haven’t driven in over a week so I might have a try out in the morning.

Watched the Gene Genie last night, a bit like waiting years for a bottle of dandelion & burdock pop when I lived in Germany, it’s never quite how you remembered it is it?

20.04.09

Got the full set back again now, numb fingers, sore mouth, croaky throat and bat sensitive hearing even though I’m still almost deaf in one ear! So apart from the obvious worsening of the first few days each time it seems that each cycle has gone off pretty similar. I took it easy today, enjoyed the sunshine but have just bumbled around and not really done anything at all. Went for a nap at tea time and feel better now and probably able to stay awake past 8.30 this evening!

I took this snap of the kids in the garden after Lydia came home from school just to show there are some leaves on the trees and summer is coming. It’ll be better for me now the kids are back at school, there are far more comings and goings during the day and distractions to keep you sane.

Mum’s home from hospital with a referral back to the same consultant she was under before, I think all the tests were clear but there is obviously an underlying matter that needs looking at. I’ll go and see her tomorrow we’ll have a stroll in the sun together!

19.04.09

Phew - well that was two days I don’t want to have to relive in a hurry. Worst yet but I know what’s happening now, the familiar side effects are coming through again, tingling fingers, croaky throat, sore mouth just had to endure a couple of days of feeling like absolute rubbish to get there this time around. I’ve heard talk from others in clinic about how the Chemotherapy gets worse as the cycles progress well now I can join that club who have witnessed it first hand. Have hardly surfaced form my bed but perked up this afternoon enough for a trip to the QMC of all places, my Mum had been taken in late yesterday suffering from dizzy spells, this following a cerebral aneurysm back in 2006 is a bit of a worry but she may be allowed home later if the tests she has had done are OK

Auntie Liz from Spain rang to check on us all which was nice for Jane as they are quite close or at least were in Jane’s drunken youth! If the weather stays nice I hope to get some vitamin D in tomorrow as the kids are back at school and try and rally round a bit all this moping around isn’t any good at all

17.04.09

New PICC

New PICC line in, more or less on time at the hospital and done much better this time as you can see from the photo, very minimalist and much higher up on my arm and out of the way. The Doctor, James Kirk, did use an ultra sound scanner to find the best vein and guided it in with radiology so no excuses for not getting it right first time and he did. I resisted any jokes about his name as he was the one inflicting pain.

I’ve felt very strange today woke up with chest pain and have only managed a couple of very small drinks which has caused what I’d say is indigestion or reflux or hiccupping, that sort of thing. On the table at the hospital I was lying dead flat and I’d say I had heartburn and burping a bit I can taste the food from the pump that’s supposed to be in the intestine not the stomach. The NJ tube is still in the right place as we saw today so I can only assume that something is moving at the tumour site. Still very cold and missed my afternoon nap today so won’t be long before I’m tucked up for the night.

Had the 5FU pump refitted in the Chemotherapy Clinic and have an appointment to change it at 5.30pm next Wednesday so we don’t miss the Treetops sessions.

16.04.09

Miriam’s turn last night to break the night silence first, after Lydia’s barking cough Miriam has a water infection and came in to Mum with wet pyjamas and it hurt when she went for a wee. She’s had the same in the past so Jane has sorted her some pull up pants and some anti biotics from the Doctor. Lydia is almost over her cough and  my ear infection is about cleared up too. Jane, thank goodness is fine and dandy! She’s gone swimming tonight and I managed to read a couple of chapters of Noddy for Miriam.

The hospital didn’t call before 11am, I called them and spoke to the receptionist on the Chemotherapy Unit who said she’d chase it up. I phoned again at 12.30, she hadn’t heard anything. I said if I hadn’t heard anything in one hour I would be camped out in the Registrar’s office this afternoon until it was sorted and if that failed we might as well forget the 5FU altogether. Over the next 2 hours I had a call from the Sister on the Chemotherapy unit, to collect my PICC line at 2pm tomorrow, another from Interventional Radiotherapy to confirm my appointment and give me nil by mouth details then a third call from another of the Consultant’s Registrars just checking everything was in place and clear. Make yourself number one priority not hospital number NC04428.

I’ve been very red faced all day from the Chemotherapy yesterday and very cold and tired. I did watch Holby last night, perhaps there has been a Portuguese Water Dog with a bleed taking up my place in theatre all week - does that stuff really happen?

15.04.09

We were there at 7.30 after a stop at Tesco Express for cash and the latest copy of MCN Darren not only dropped me off but stayed until 9.30, we were both waiting for the warmest day of the year to materialise after getting rained on an hour before, Darren was keen on taking the kids to the zoo but I don’t know if he managed it.

The Chemotherapy itself went exactly as before even down to the way it was put in, via a canula in my hand as the PICC line is still missing. The nurses had the 5FU pump at the ready and it’s in date for 10 days. If I don’t get a call by 11am tomorrow I am to call the unit and have them bleep the Registrar. That’s not ‘bleep’ him in place of something else like on the tele like ‘have them sh1t on Registrar’ for not getting it sorted. I’ll do that myself!

Jane’s Dad gave my Dad a lift in to see me for an hour or so around lunchtime, my Dad feels a bit useless as he can’t drive any more, if it was happening to one of my kids I’d no doubt feel the same so it was good for him to see the unit and how it all works, I made him a brew, he winked at a few of the nurses then got a lift home.

Jane came around 3.30 and we escaped about 5.30 I remembered to take my anti biotics for the ear ache and I can feel it ‘popping’ now so I assume it’s on the mend. I also remembered my big mistake from last time, letting one off when I got home and following through, had the same urges again but this time utilised the moment on the bog to move along somewhat of a blockage, it worked and let me tell you, you wouldn’t have wanted it in your pants! Now it’s Holby from last night, Ovaltine and bed - oh yes and from this weeks MCN I absolutely must have one of these
Victory Hammer - £13K spare anyone?

14.04.09

Had bloods done today and those I had taken last Wednesday were OK so it should be all systems go for tomorrow. I’ll pack my bag later with all my stuff for the day. Checked with Darren and he’s still OK to take me, picking me up at 7am for the 8am start.

I see Shaun has broadened the geographical reaction to the blog with his comment from Detroit, thanks for that mate, the wonder of t’Internet. Some of the old gang must be fretting about 50th birthdays coming up, I was always one of the youngest so I’ll find out first how not to do it and who not to invite!

While I was at the City this morning I checked on the PICC line replacement, definitely not on the list for today so I went about my business for the rest of today, it will be before the end of the week and could even be tomorrow, we’ll see.

Supposed to be the warmest day of the year so far tomorrow, lucky me behind all that glass and tied to a drip stand!

13.04.09











EBAY Item

Seemed like another Sunday today and both Jane and I slept in like it was. We were both up in the night either with Lydia who was coughing like a barking dog or just our usual nightly exploits, after I’d finished feeding at around 6.45 I went back to sleep until 10am. This afternoon my brother visited, he’s a good sort, brought me some more clothes, 4 T-shirts, 3 Duffer and 1 Boss, a pair of summer Boss trousers and a pair of dark Hacketts, we got the Super Dream fired up and sat on it like a couple of school kids. I mentioned how we’d seen my sister yesterday , I’ve also had a couple of emails today from old friends I haven’t seen in years, one who lives in America, (hi Shaun). It shouldn’t take an event like this to bring friends and family closer but I suppose that’s how it is sometimes we all take so much for granted. With the best will in the world I know I’ll let things slip again but I’ll at least promise myself to try not to.

I’ll be out and about early tomorrow, bloods at the hospital then I might just call in and see what plans have been made for the PICC line, be daft not to while I’m there then get ready for Chemotherapy on Wednesday if all goes to plan. By the way I’m still nursing the burns on my forearm from where the 5FU leaked from the line, heaven knows what it does to you when it’s in your bloodstream!

Doesn’t anyone want these cabinets?

12.04.09

The kids were good and counted their eggs over and over from the Easter Bunny. They were under orders not to eat any until after lunch. Mine and Jane’s parents came for lunch and I drooled over a large joint of roast beef followed by pineapple and cream cake while sipping a banana flavour Fortisip. I don’t mind though, I still love the smell of food and even carved the joint today. Soon I’ll be eating again but instead of a large T-bone steak I’ll have fillet and instead of fish and chips I’ll have a salmon ballantine with a fine wine instead of 8 pints of lager!

I then spent three hours filling in the Disability Living Allowance claim form, not easy even for me and I aint no thicky, no wonder so many just don’t bother. I’ll send it off on Tuesday and see what happens.

By the wonders of e-mail I also received what I’ll call an e-bollocking from the Macmillan Nurse for ignoring the high temperature last week and taking paracetamol. OK point taken but I’m still here so no major harm done this time.

Ear ache is a bit better, Jane reckons tele’s rubbish again but I’m looking forward to the return of the Gene Genie next Monday - no to be missed!

11.04.09

The kids are excited that the Easter Bunny is coming tonight. Lydia goes along with it for Miriam’s benefit but they both love the chocolate!

The owl photo has been identified as a European Eagle Owl, it was massive I mean it could have easily taken a cat or Jack Russell type of dog, not had any response as to whether sending 240v back up to the TV aerial would have worked but I think we’ll leave it at that.

I’d had enough of this ear infection today and went to the GP walk in centre up at the Ilkeston Community Hospital and got some anti biotics. I had to go back because he’d misunderstood “I can’t swallow tablets” for “can I have them in horse pill size please”. I eventually got them in a syrup form. I also received some claim forms today for Disability Living Allowance and Carers Allowance for Jane, I’ll make a start on them over this weekend, I’ll read the 20 pages of notes tonight and start on the first 48 page form tomorrow.

Date for CT scan also came in the post today, 27 Apr 09 at 9.20. Please please please let the chemotherapy have done it’s stuff by then although I did have a bit of a reality check earlier, it’s OK wishing the surgery was around the corner but the recovery period from it is up to 6 months - it isn’t going to be a walk in the park is it?

10.04.09

So after spending the best part of the last three days at the City hospital squandering the time I should be putting to better use as it’s my ‘good week’ today was a good day.

Last night Darren came round for a chat and he’ll take me to Chemotherapy next week then there was a knock at the door and this was what all the fuss was about. OWL. The photo is as Lydia took it, if you can download it and find out what type it is then you have better editing skills than I have. There were three guys trying to coax it down to see if it was a wild bird or an escaped one, they were laying rabbit pieces on the pavement, whistling and shouting who’s a good boy then! Darren’s idea was to take the co-ax cable out the back of the tele, put a 3 pin plug on it and stick it back in. I don’t think that’s either possible or in the bird’s best interests but when we went for another look it had gone.

Other than that a quiet day today although I did think it was Saturday until about an hour ago! Enjoyed the freedom of not having the bum bag and have not been so tired, maybe it was the 5FU making me feel rubbish all along?

09.04.09

I woke in the night with an itchy arm, when the nurse dressed the PICC line yesterday she noticed some white powder residue under the dressing and thought there might be a bit of a leak, well now at 3am the gauze was wet and making my arm red so yes it was leaking. I went back as the nurse had suggested, got there around 11am on the Medilink bus from the QMC as Jane was taking the girls for new shoes. The PICC line had a slit where it had bent in a kink and the nurse just pulled it right out. I saw the registrar who was keen to admit me as an in patient over Easter to have the drug via a drip, he went off to get the Prof. to agree and find a bed. I passed the afternoon with Sharon & Ady, Sharon left a comment on here 14 Mar 09 so it was nice to hook up with them, with the three of us we kept the average age of the waiting room below 80 years old. They knew my name without me introducing myself - oh the notoriety of it all!. I did see the Prof himself at about 4pm and he said he wasn’t too concerned I’d miss the last week of the 5FU, he’d arrange for a new PICC line to be fitted on Tuesday and continue with my full day Chemotherapy on Wednesday. Those days might shuffle down if the PICC isn’t done until Wednesday etc. So for this weekend I’m free of my bum bag.

I got back to the QMC on the free bus and waited for the 21 back to Ilkeston. I really wasn’t looking forward to the rush hour bus journey and behold a knight in armour, or at least a Peugeot, turned up out of the blue. It was Imran from work, good job he hadn’t read my comments about French cars, he offered me a lift home. It was good to chat about other colleagues and how the restructure was being accepted and dealt with by them all.

I’d had a note on my desk for a couple of days ‘Talk to Frank’, nothing drug related of course Frank is the Uncle of a lady called Kim who has emailed me on numerous occasions about the blog and how her Uncle is in a similar predicament with the NJ tube and feeding regime and everything and how useful she’d found my ramblings and had passed them on to him. We chatted last night for a good while and I think we made a bit of a bond, I’m sure our paths will cross in the not too distant future - good luck Frank!

08.04.09

I’d almost forgotten about my Aromatherapy session I had booked for 1.30 today at the Treetops Hospice so as I trekked off to the hospital again at 10am for the pump change and re-dress I was quite looking forward to the day. Then I had to wait three hours and missed my appointment and could have killed anyone who looked remotely like a pharmacist. Jane did ring and cancel at Treetops and I did call in on my way back from the hospital, just after 2pm, just to show I did exist and booked an appointment for Jane and I for the 22nd, humbly apologising I made my retreat and went home a bit miffed.

I watched Man Utd put in a poor performance last night and somehow it made sleep that bit sweeter and I slept through Jane’s first cuppa at 1.30am, by 3am I was making my own though and flushing tubes and had a go at crimping one off - the latter might require some intervention if it don’t work soon!

Aside from that all side effects are under control or are sufficiently insignificant compared to the “frenzied stabbing attack” type pain coming from my right ear that I’m looking forward to week three of the cycle. I’ll know in the next couple of days if my bloods are OK or if I need to do anything to get them right for Wednesday and chemotherapy.

I’ve stepped up my feeding volume so it’s done in 10 hours overnight so I get to stay out until 8pm if I want to - I have a few friends to visit, just to jump out and scare their kids you know that sort of thing!

07.04.09

Saw the consultant this lunchtime he’s happy with progress and has spoken to the surgeon who is still keeping tabs (not ears) on me for surgery in May. I do have to have bloods taken tomorrow just to make sure the ear infection hasn’t altered my results too much to put my chemotherapy next week at risk.

Came home and saw two ladies from Citizens Advice Bureau, one hired by Macmillan. It seems we aren’t entitled to anything at the moment then when I reduce to half salary we might get £1.90 a month reduction in our Council tax. Other than that there is a 48 page application to fill in for Disability Living Allowance and another one for Jane’s Carers Allowance. I’ll wait for them to come through and I WILL fill them in and see what comes of it, they are not means tested so there should be something to be had. Promise I’ll keep you up to date on that as I know how forms and red tape puts many people off even applying.

And then came news of a job for me! I’d been expecting something this week as a couple of colleagues had been chomping at the bit. I half expected the news to tell me where the mop and bucket was kept or how to ask ’do you want fries with that’ but no it seems I have earned the title of “IT Customer Support Team Manager”. I just need to know what salary it is offered at and how the remainder of the structure pans out with personalities and I suppose I’ll need to accept in some form or other. I just hope that everyone else gets what they deserve and those that want to go are allowed to do so.

Wednesday again tomorrow which means pump change day and PICC line to be re-dressed, as I said bloods to be taken as well, I’ll get one of the Chemotherapy nurses to do that rather than queue up with the plebs at outpatients.

06.04.09

(tab = ear)

Lydia got back at 10.30 last night with just the one trophy to show for her day in Whitby. The competition was very strong and standards extremely high but she did her best and Jane said she danced very well and was proud of her so you can’t ask for more than that. Despite that Lydia was bike riding this morning so I walked her to her friends house and on the way back met folk I haven’t seen in ages so took my time and when I got home at 11.45 Jane was still in bed lucky sod! I did a couple of small jobs around the house, one involved a drill and one being a bit creative with a Jigsaw to make a corner unit fit over some electrical sockets, took my ages and was still cream crackered afterwards. I’ve dropped the painkillers for my tab ache down to about every six hours now but I’m seeing the consultant tomorrow so I’ll mention it to him. Got to do some sums later to give to the financial advisor from Macmillan who is coming tomorrow afternoon - if there’s a pot of money that is there for me to dip into or some fat cat politician to have a new kitchen out of then I’ll beat him to it believe me.

05.04.09

Jane & Lydia were picked up at 7.30 this morning, Miriam was already up and I was left in bed. After just a couple of hours sleep I’d woken up with the final bit of Lydia’s legacy from her time away, a throbbing ear ache. I took some Co-codamol and although they act really fast they only relieve the pain for a couple of hours. I got up and ready for about 9.30 and made a plan for the day with Miriam, it didn’t involve much, park, Mamah’s house, home, rest, mow lawn (perhaps), jigsaw that sort of thing. And that’s how it has been, my old mate Paul came round this afternoon and did a bit of lifting and shifting for me and my Mum came back with me from her house to supervise the mowing of the lawn. As soon as I’d dropped her off at home I came straight back and fell asleep on the sofa for an hour! I think I’m almost at an illegal level of Co-codamol in my blood stream but I’ve no choice the pain is really quite bad, can’t say I’ve had an ear ache before. We’ll see how my attempts at bolstering up the immune system have worked by how long this last symptom persists then hopefully I can have the final week before the last session of chemotherapy free from bugs as well as side effects.

04.04.09

Slept rubbish again although I was in bed at 9pm trying to stop shivering without Jane noticing. I think I’ll ask at Treetops for an alternative therapy to help me sleep, if anyone knows what’s best I’d really like to know, tonight I’ll be trying 3 units of Chardonnay!. Temperature was normal this morning, everyone had their hair cut while mine still comes out bit by bit. I’ve purposely done very little today although I did keep looking out of the kitchen window think the lawn needs mowing again!

Don’t know about you but mine fell at the first and Jane’s horse Knowhere came  - well nowhere! 100 - 1 winner though, I wouldn’t have minded a monkey on that pony or whatever it is you lot say Jason?

I did get my new car sorted today, the nice chap from Lookers Honda has let me order it a month early. The factory has been shut and what is left is fast running out. The price for the 09 model is £4k more than the 08 one so I still get the Civic ES 5 door 2.2i Diesel for an advance payment of £341 instead of £4278. Heaven forbid, had it fell through I could have ended up driving something French!

This is all on the Motability scheme, my sixth car on the scheme, which I qualify for from an episode I was involved in during my time in the Armed Forces, another chapter in my past which influences my daily life just as this current journey will influence me into the future. If you need to know anything about Motability just drop me a line and I’ll try and help

03.04.09

Did too much today and after Jane had started showing signs of Lydia’s infection she brought home from camp last weekend I developed a temperature and the shivers. The rules say if it’s over 38c then to ring the unit at the hospital but to Jane’s disgust I took some Co-codamol and went to bed. We waited until it had wore off and luckily my temperature was almost normal again. I’m still so very tired at times during the day, it just sort of washes over me and I have to go and lie down, not sleep just rest for a while. Anyway I won’t be going to Whitby and I wasn’t keen on Jane driving there and back in one day on her own so the two of them are going with Lydia’s dance partner Emily and her Mum and Dad. Cheers for that.

3rd Feb diagnosis, 3rd Mar start treatment and here we are 3rd Apr 09.

Half way through my first 9 weeks of chemotherapy and one more long session on the 15th then if all is well see that out of my system, have a short break, CT scan and have a look in through my belly button to see if all is as expected then make plans for surgery.

02.04.09

Kiss of death eh? Talk about the nice weather and next day you need your thermals on!

I had a call from Treetops Hospice today to book my first ‘alternative therapy’ session. They are on a Wednesday so I’ll have to juggle them around chemotherapy days and pump changes etc. Jane gets the same six sessions free as a carer. Here is their web site and a darn good job they do too! Treetops

In the afternoon we went to see Miriam in her Easter Event at school, she sang lovely but as is always the case where we sat she was obscured by a pillar and couldn’t see us. One or two of the younger kids gave me some funny looks then pointed and asked their Mums “what has that funny man got on his face”. I don’t mind I’d do the same.

I was going to try and get into work today but thought better of it, I’ll do it next week as I’ve had a couple of emails from colleagues reminding me of the ‘slotting in’ process that happens next week, we’ll see what that brings and take it from there.

Jane went out for a drink with Helen & her Mum & sister Joanne, just to our local the Bulls Head, I didn’t pry too much into the conversations as it was their idea and obviously their way of tackling some issues, not least the one that all men are useless which seems to always come up when women get together for a natter.

01.04.09

I think the weather has made the difference again today. Had a bit of a to do with Jane this morning over something and nothing, I think we were both a bit wound up over not sleeping. I went off to hospital at 8.15am and spent most of the morning waiting for the pharmacy to deliver rations, as did all the other patients, finally got home about 1pm. Jane was better after seeing some friends and having a chat and a cry!

Now week one is over I must try and be more constructive especially as the kids are off for a fortnight. I’ll dig out my National Trust handbook and arrange some day trips with them. We’re off to Whitby on Sunday for Lydia’s latest dance competition - anyone for fish & chips?

Visited Mum on her birthday and saw my niece and nephew, Jessica is off to Pirbright in Surrey on Sunday to begin her Army then nursing training as part of the QARANC (Queen Alexandra’s Royal Army Nursing Corps) - all the best Jess.